i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
