Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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