we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
