just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize