so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
