Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
