Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
we should paint friendship bongs
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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