Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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