Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
