Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
are you still at the devil's house?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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