just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
