You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize