we're blogging at a bar
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
