My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Actions speak louder than pants.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize