Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
