we're blogging at a bar
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
