So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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