i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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