there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
