if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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