Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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