He had one of those small greek statue penises
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize