College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
