I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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