it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize