This girl is more easily done than said...
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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