Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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