I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
