I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
