Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
