...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
