I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
