New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
