Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
