I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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