I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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