allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
