u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
