he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
