sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
