Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize