wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
