Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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