i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
