I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
