i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
