Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
