YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
