No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
ttyl tear gas
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Floor bacon is actually really good
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize