Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
