They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize