Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
