It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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