I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
