I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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