Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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