I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize