I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
