fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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