i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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